It is just too messy to be expressed.

--

i have a lot to pour out.
i wanna tell you i dreamt of you and her.
You went away with her and left me in the dark.
i realize how much i wish you to be with me now and how insecure i feel in order to have this dream.
But it is such a sarcastic situation as well, i just do not have qualification to claim i do not feel secure and you should show more concern to me. i know you have been trying so hard. i just do not when i will be able to regain my confidence from the last experience.

Sigh.

i thought i am such a strong independent girl, i am just a little bird which needs a lot of love and concern so as to fly high.